They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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