I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
