i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize