am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
