i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
