No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Your shirt... Was in my pants
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
