Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm always down for nudity.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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