shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
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Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
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I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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