Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
