Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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