So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
