By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
lol hangovers are for mortals.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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