every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
