You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
