Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.