WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
