my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
