a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
23 Ladies Who Have Mastered The Art Of Squirting
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.