Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.

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  (310): and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night. http://tfl.nu/rugs
  Replies (33) Good night (577) Bad night (2984)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine

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  (703): She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine http://tfl.nu/jb79
  Replies (41) Good night (746) Bad night (5328)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options

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  (416): the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options http://tfl.nu/sle9
  Replies (4) Good night (3554) Bad night (552)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.

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  (703): This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar. http://tfl.nu/4fqp
  Replies (9) Good night (2476) Bad night (891)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.

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  (512): I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship. http://tfl.nu/fnhf
  Replies (12) Good night (4565) Bad night (999)
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  (516): View more from New York

  That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.

  (1-516): View more from New York

  yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.

  (516): View more from New York

  Do you have to put it that way?

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  (516): That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him. (1-516): yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him. (516): Do you have to put it that way? http://tfl.nu/hbgy
  Replies (21) Good night (6222) Bad night (918)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?

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  (704): HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES? http://tfl.nu/cu3x
  Replies (8) Good night (2091) Bad night (889)
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  (530): View more from California

  Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.

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  (530): Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon. http://tfl.nu/gqwa
  Replies (9) Good night (1035) Bad night (1328)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.

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  (920): Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees. http://tfl.nu/3c2q
  Replies (8) Good night (1387) Bad night (450)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.

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  (905): All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for. http://tfl.nu/6yyp
  Replies (12) Good night (724) Bad night (2191)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore

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  (787): Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore http://tfl.nu/sv88
  Replies (3) Good night (650) Bad night (312)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr

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  (330): do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr http://tfl.nu/tk9o
  Replies (0) Good night (719) Bad night (316)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  "you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"

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  (289): "you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly" http://tfl.nu/d33o
  Replies (6) Good night (712) Bad night (261)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?

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  (732): if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire? http://tfl.nu/mryp
  Replies (4) Good night (416) Bad night (213)
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  (323): View more from California

  I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.

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  (323): I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT. http://tfl.nu/iqjw
  Replies (3) Good night (618) Bad night (217)

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