my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize