the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
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You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
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He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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