I want to walk on stilts...naked
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
