I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
