I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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