sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
