i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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