i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
