she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
