Buhtt sex?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
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Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
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You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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