I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
