My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
