And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
