I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
well you can't waste a boner
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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