he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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