I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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