Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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