tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
