Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
