Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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