I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
so much tequila, so little girl.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
