Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
