i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Randomize
