Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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