And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
