So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize