I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
