I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You've changed since you got that strap on
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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