Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize