What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
