They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
