I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
