I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
