Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
