she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
A bitchslap is in order.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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