You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
