I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
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Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
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then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize