She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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