i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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