yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
