yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
The best revenge is premature balding
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
