There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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