Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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