im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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