I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
she smelled like a LAN party
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
