You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Randomize
