Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
